Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Incoherent Ramblings of a Crazy Person

Do you ever find yourself just 'floating' along and realize that maybe you're not ok with it? So what happens when the floating finally bugs you enough that you start to question life and how you got to where you are? There are so many things in my life that I would like to change but I feel overwhelmed at the task. And so I sit down. Ahh, that's better.

But really, is it just because I'm a lazy person or is it deeper than that? As superficial as this next statement is, and trust me, I realize that its shallow & stupid; So don't feel like you have to agree... I am finding that lately, I'm untouchable in the compliment dept. Nothing seems to get below my skin. Why is that - when all I really want to feel is valued and special. I mean, really, isn't that what we all want out of our simple lives? To feel good in our own skin?

For a while there, I felt myself slipping into deep, dark oblivion and although currently, I might have stopped slipping, I still feel like I'm just hanging onto a ledge and am hoping my hands don't start to sweat. Is this normal? Is this what real people feel like? The factor that drives me the most mad in all of this fumbling around, is that I think that I'm magnifying everything. Why is it when one thing is off balance in life, everything else seems to be on that same tilted axis?

Who knows? Maybe I just need a V-8.